Logan and I have been married for twelve and a half years
and have been together since high school.
Like most couples we have had our share of ups and downs, times of doubt
and absolute happiness. We have changed
in so many ways since the beginning but throughout these changes we have also
been able to support one another. When
people first meet us, they often see us as opposites. I am chatty, outgoing and always on the
go. Logan is quieter (until you get to know him), go with the flow and very content to just live
in the moment. How does it work??? Honestly, I am not sure that I know the answer to that but
I think at the core we have always had similar values, wants and needs. We both wanted a family, we love to be around
people we love, and we value spending time together and open
communication. We both enjoying being
outdoors, doing physical stuff and have complimentary parenting styles. When we decided to get married we had already
overcome some obstacles and we were aware and prepared to work on our relationship
when things were hard.
All of that being said one thing that has been extremely
helpful in continuing to have a relationship and identity as husband and wife
has been regular date nights. We attempt
to get out at least once a month. Our
dates vary from dinner, going to the theater (plays, not so much movies
anymore), walks, golfing (which I am terrible at but do it for Logan), snowboarding,
biking, etc. My parents live in the city
and are always willing to have the girls overnight J. They are the BEST!!! In fact, when we first become parents at 25
and were just starting out, my parents and sister, really encouraged us to continue
to take time together as a couple. This
was great advice and I am glad they did.
We are fairly involved parents and enjoy spending time with the girls,
but we have made a cognisant effort to not build our whole identity around
being mom or dad. As our girls get
older, they will want to spend more time with friends and eventually will leave
the nest (insert sad/sobbing face) and when this happens Logan and I want to still
have a relationship that makes us happy and fulfilled. Now, I know there are no guarantees in life
but date nights are just one way of making sure that we continue to connect and
grow as a couple. I’d love to hear what
other people do to stay connected and other date night ideas.
Saturday night we went to the Playing with Fire: The Theo Fleury
Story at our local theater. It was PHONOMENAL! Honestly, I was not sure about going to watch
this because it deals with some pretty sad and tragic events but I was
completely engaged for the full two hours.
If you don’t know the Theo Fleury story, the short version is that he
was a great but troubled hockey player.
He was sexually molested by this WHL coach, Graham James, as a teen and
also had a tough home life. He was
extremely determined and worked his way up to the NHL and was really talented
but drugs, alcohol, gambling and the trauma his suffered eventually caught up
to him. He ended up spiralling out of
control and losing his fortune and pushing his family away. When he was finally ready to turn his life
around he had to face all of his demons and pick himself up from there. I knew the bits and pieces of his life but
Logan and I were both so captivated by the play that we plan on reading his
book, Playing with Fire (check out the review from goodreads.com).
No, no, no! I would never drink wine at work, but I am having some right now :) .
So what brought this post on? Well here is Saskatchewan winters can be long and I always find mid-January and February I go into a somewhat of a hibernation mode. Work is usually busy at this time of year, the weather is off and on, and when I leave the house in the morning it's dark and when I get home it's dark.
Anyway, during this time of year I also start to wear a lot of black, gray, brown, navy, etc. The other day I saw this post on What I Wore and I was immediately inspired. I love fun tights and I used to wear them but hadn't this fall/winter season at all. I work in a fairly conservative environment and I feel that dressing professionally is important. I decided to take out my wine colored tights, I have pumps and a dress in the same color because I love it so much, and pair it up with my gray pencil skirt and my go-to navy, polka dot sweater. It turned out okay. If I could substitute the gray pencil skirt for a fun, flair, black mini, I totally would but I couldn't for work. This is what I looked like, sorry for the poor lighting.
Nine years ago I gave birth to an amazing little girl. I still remember the doctor saying, "Mom was right, it's a little girl." She handed you over to me and several hours of labor somehow drifted away into the distance. Since, that day Halie has grown into a very mature young lady. She loves horses, pizza, chili, dancing, singing, gymnastics, sewing with her grandma, drawing, painting, creating art projects, playing outside, socializing with friends and hanging out with us, her family. Halie is one of those kids that is quite but craves a lot of attention, specifically verbal encouragement and recognition. I am currently reading/listening to, The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, link, and I've come to discover that her primary love language is words of affirmation. Words of affirmation basically means that she really depends on positive feedback from us in order to feel loved and secure in the decisions she is making. That being said, when we, or I, criticize her, that's the thing that also hurts her the most. She responds to the other love languages as well, but words of affirmation I believe is her primary love language. Through reading/listening to the book I also feel that my youngest daughter's primary lover language is physical touch, like cuddling, hugs, etc. and after reading the first book, The Five Love Languages, I discovered physical touch was also my primary love language, so it's no wonder that it's sometimes easier for me to connect with Anya. That all being said, Halie and I share our love of animals, and we enjoy crafting together, doing our nails, playing Barbie's/dolls as of lately, going for walks, and have even ventured out shopping a few times without much complaining. If you have children, I highly recommend reading the book, just to make you reflect on your child's personality and to make their needs, emotional ones, come to the front of how you interact with them. The BEST thing about Halie is her COMPASSION. She cares so deeply about people and their feelings. It doesn't even have to be someone she knows, but she is always asking questions about social issues which makes me IMMENSELY PROUD of her. Halie is open to all cultural groups and their traditions. She recognizes the hardships that people face in our own community and often offers to help others out by donating her toys, clothing, giving money to the homeless on the streets, holding lemonade stands to raise money for various groups, etc. I am proud to be her mom and to have an opportunity to watch her to grow. P.S. Halie's favorite color is RED.
Self-Confidence:Being confident in oneself, one's choices or the path one has chosen to follow (my own interpretation) I often think people see me as being confident but truth be told I often feel like " I am faking it, until I make it". I think this is true for many people. I am generally a chatty person, extraverted to the naked eye, but when it comes to speaking in front of large crowds, other then little children, I get really nervous. I can't sleep the night before, I run over the things I need to say and how to say them over and over in my head, my hands get sweaty (I try not to shake peoples hands), etc. In order to calm myself, I plan my outfits in order to at least look the part of a self-confident, know what I am doing, professional. This week I was presenting to a room of fifty individuals that I respect immensely, a room of Kindergarten teachers. Kindergarten teachers, and all teachers, have a critical role in setting our youngest learners, and their families, for success and in the academic world. I could go on forever but I will leave that for another time. Needless to say I wanted to provide them with a worthwhile day of networking, learning and planning. I was nervous to stand in front of this group and so this is what I wore to help me a least look self-confident. :)
