Mommy Diaries: My Journey to Perspective

This is Lindsay's second of three (or maybe more) installments in her journey as a mom of two girls, one who was not long ago diagnosed with Rhett syndrome.  These are her stories as she navigates through motherhood.  Read  Lindsay's first installment, Coming to Terms with a Diagnosis, here.  

Have you ever been feeling shitty and low, and then someone offers advice or empathy with something like, “at least…blah blah blah”.  My mom uses this all the time; through the trials and tribulations of childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and heck even adulthood.  And I would think, FUCK OFF MOM!  It’s just NOT what you want to hear when you are feeling down, especially when you are feeling worse than you've ever felt before.

I understand now, she was trying to teach me the valuable lesson of perspective.  Unfortunately, people generally need to get there on their own, but having this as a default setting in your brain when you’re feeling down proves to be quite helpful! When we first got the diagnosis, I felt down.  I’d see people complain about their kids doing kid things and I’d think, “fuck you, at least they have legs that work!” (or something similar).  Comparison can be the thief of joy, but I have come to understand it can also be an advantage. Thinking about Isla’s future, I would think, “how could this be any worse?!”  Then I remembered the time Isla was in acute pediatrics at RUH where some kids were LIVING in the hospital!!  Some of the children were there all by themselves, others were fighting for their lives!  So, when I feel sorry for myself, I remember the days we spent in the hospital with Isla while she fought an infection.  I remember how scary the days were, but I also remember that it could have been so much worse.  As time passes, I see all the warrior mamas out there dealing with shit that is way worse than what we are dealing with.  Now I reminded to always look on the bright side, to be grateful for what we are given, and to enjoy each day as they come.  This is one of the greatest gifts Isla has given me. I think this kid has a lot to teach me and the world…