Thursday 1 July 2021

Year End Reflections form a Mom: Parenting Teens

The trenches of the baby years represented by sleepless nights, the endless cycle of sleep, feed, change, cry, repeat, "oh and when is the last time I brushed my teeth?".  This is followed by the terrible twos and then excitement of them being old enough to go to preschool.  When you are in the trenches of the baby years you can’t imagine that one day you won’t be needed 24/7. You love them ferociously but you are absolutely exhausted by the end of the day.  Suddenly the days start to blend into endless hours watching them at gymnastics, hockey, dance, etc.  The weekly playdates at some point become sleepovers and suddenly you go from an active participants to looking in from the sidelines, and then eventually they take over and check in from time to time.  Oh don’t get me wrong, we are still driving to activities, we still host the sleepover and friends, and they still need us, but it's  different in intensity.  You stay close by, but you also know that they are figuring out their own path.  You brace yourself for having less say in their friendships, in their activities,  and hope the foundation you’ve laid is going to be strong enough for the next chapter.  It’s bittersweet to see my oldest going off to high school.  I am both excited for her and at the same time I know that we are going down a path where I will see her first heart break.  She’ll  have to make tough decisions and I’ll have to watch her make mistakes, because we all do.  Although I’ll always be here, I also know that she needs to do things in her own time and in her own way.  I have to embrace the change not only in her but in my own role as her mom.  I get little people.  I know how they work and how to convince them to ultimately do what I want or know is best.  Teens are all new for me too. 


So I am here to celebrate my daughter.  The young lady she is becoming.  She is strong.  She is compassionate.  She has opinions but is open to others ways of thinking  and doing.  She is funny.  She works hard.  She values family, friendships and most importantly herself.  So Halie, if you ever read this, I am so proud of you.  Although my heart is broken to see the years of your childhood gone, I am so grateful to walk beside you in this next chapter.


On another note, I also want to celebrate my youngest Anya finishing up grade 5.  She continues to keep me in awe of her energy, ideas and perspective.  She is friendly.  Outgoing.  Creative.  And loyal.  Although there are times that I am frustrated by her endless need for the next thing, I find myself equally mesmerized by her sense of herself.  Her ability to be unapologetically be herself.  To choose to live life in all the tiny moments it offers.  When we were doing family pictures, she did what was asked, she took the pictures and then she was off exploring.  We had no idea where she was but knew enough to trust her instincts. As we walked out f the gardens, I see her fancy shoes dangling from the tree  LOL.     She had climbed in a tree, in her new red, polka dot dress  and her dress shoes.  My girlie girl and my girl that loves adventure.  She already knows that you don’t have to choose one.  You can be both and everything in between.  In that moments, I wondered how I can insure that she stays just as she is.  I RELALLY DON’T WANT TO BE THE REASON SHE LOSES THAT. 


So there you have it.  My girls and this mams reflection.  What have you been reflecting on?

Photos by A & H Snapshots (Saskatoon & Candle Lake, Sk.)


  1. Love everything about this... watching your lovely ladies grow up and spread their wings is a hugely exciting experience. But in truth? Reality sets in and you wish you could freeze them in time forever.

    I have been reflecting on the passage of time. This January marked my 25th year of teaching with our school division... I really want to slow the hands of time. Life is moving quickly. I want to savour.

    I think this is a concurrent theme running through my life...

    Cheers to you lovely friend.


    1. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I have been really thinking about how I don't want to wish time away at this stage in my life, yet I find myself constantly looking forward to the next thing, especially during the dark winter days. It's a difficult balance.