I always envisioned myself as a mom of babies, toddlers and
little people. It’s what I dreamed of
for years before actually becoming a mother.
What I never really saw in my life was being a mom beyond that young
age and when that happened, like anything else, I just continued to learn
alongside my girls and tread new territory.
Now I have two girls who are considered “tweens”, 8-12 years of
age. How did that happen? !? I am on both sides of this right now, Anya
(8) is in the beginning of this stage and Halie (11 ½) has been in it for a
while. As with any children, my girls
are very different in the ways they approach life, friends, activities, school,
etc. The changes that I am talking about
are social and emotional and how they have resulted in me having to change and
adapt as a mom. Here are some things
that snuck up on me and made me re-assess how things have been up to that point
in our lives.
1. Make-up
and Deodorant. Eeek. Phew.
It literally seemed to happen overnight.
One minute it’s that baby smell and the next you have BO. I didn’t even know what deodorant was best
for this purpose so I quickly searched online to find information and
suggestions. We settled on buying Tom’s
at our local drugstore and it works really well. The girls don’t mind the smell and I feel
good knowing that it’s mostly natural. I
will also say that the BO kind of came out of nowhere and it comes and goes,
and is not consistent.
Another thing that happened was we went
from kids make-up, you know the Barbie flashy colors, to wanting the cover girl
stuff. At first I wasn’t really sure
what my stance was and I kind try to deter Halie from it. I quickly noticed she was going to experiment regardless so I decided if this
was what she wanted, I was better to help educate then to scold. We have talked about why it’s not necessary or
overly good to put a bunch of make up on her face but settled on having a natural look if she
was going to wear make-up. I also took
the opportunity to introduce some new products for washing her face daily,
including the MakeUp Eraser cloth and Cetaphil gentle cleanser. Another thing to consider is who pays for the
make-up? We’ve decided that make-up
is an extra and is not our responsibility but she is welcome to use her
allowance money on it if she chooses to.
2. Phones & Technology.
Hmm. Remember land lines? Yeah.
We finally decided to ditch ours and within 8 months we realized that
Halie was wanting to stay connected with her friends outside of school
hours. So what do you do? Some kids have tablets, some iPads, some
phones. We were totally unsure of what
to do, so we have gone through a mix of things to be honest. Sometimes she borrows our phone for talking
on (this is very rare as that’s not really how they communicate much), uses
text or snapchat with friends. We have
been approached for an IG account which at this point we have declined her
for. Thoughts? Technology use is a big one, so it’s worth
having a conversations with your spouse around this. We
have discovered that keeping an open mind and assessing things as they happen
works best for us, we rarely say no to things forever, but have said ‘no’ for
right now.
3. Birthday
Parties! Good news. The over the top, large, full of screaming
and running children, birthday parties are just about behind you. When the girls were younger we invited
EVERYONE. The more the merrier
concept. No excluding people, etc. By the end of grade 2 and beginning of grade
3, you will notice your children begin to form closer ties to smaller amounts
of people. They still play and include
others, but they form some stronger relationships based on their own
personality and interests. The good
news is that birthday parties become more exclusive and smaller. The bad news is they want SLEEPIOVERS!
4. Toys.
This is a good sag-way into the types of toys you buy. I find we are no longer going to Toys R Us
regularly and honestly the last time I was on their website/store was Christmas
time. Toys become less and less
desirable, though Anya still enjoys getting little toys such as LOLs. Baby dolls, even Barbie’s, kitchen stuff,
dress-up, etc. are for the most part gone.
The one thing that both of my
girls still enjoy are stuffies (insert eye-roll) and their American Girl
dolls. Anya (8) still does play with
toys but I know her days are numbered (this makes me terribly sad), but Halie
pretty much entertains herself with make-up, her friends, writing, reading,
playing card/board games, etc. One thing
that I will say that they still completely engage in is playing and creating
with loose parts. They love being
creative and building things using blocks, marbles, gems, craft supplies,
natural materials. Just the other day
the girls constructed a habitat for caterpillars, they love building forts in
the woods by our cabin, or creating Goldberg rubrics. If you need gift ideas for tweens check out my suggestions here and here.
5. Grunting as a form of communication & mood
swings. Hahaha. Laugh people because it’ll keep you
sane. Your sweet child will be just
that, SWEET one minute and grunting, stomping, eye-rolling, the next. “Grrr.”
“I know mom.” “I hate you.” Those
are actually words of love and understand that if you are not receiving these
sounds/phrases, then you might be failing as a parent in fact. Here is the thing. They are just figuring stuff out and you are
too. Once I was able to come to terms
that I wasn’t there BFF and that wasn’t really my role, I was able to focus my
attention on what I feel my job is, to help them be the best versions of
themselves right now and in the future.
So sometimes it’s my job to say or be unpopular for the moment, but I
always explain the WHY of our choices.
Sometimes I don’t do it right in the moment, if it seems heated or my
child doesn’t want to hear it, but then I talk to them when things are calmer.
There are many more things that I can write about but I’d
love to hear your stories of parenting.
If you would like to write a blog post on something you’ve experienced,
regardless of your child’s age, at some point in the future I’d love to hear from
you or write in the comments below.
Thanks for stopping by.
Easter is just a couple of weeks away now and I have been compiling a list of things to put in the kids Easter baskets this year.
MOM EASTER FAIL STORY. Last year I wrote an Easter blog post of ideas, and also a free printable Easter Egg hunt here. The week of Easter, Halie was flipping through my phone gallery and found all the pictures!!!! She asked why I had pictures of Easter candy and stuff on my phone?!? I had to take EVERYTHING back to the store and start the shopping over again. ARGH! Lesson learned, no pictures of presents should be left on the phone, ever!
Moving on. For tween gift you have to think Mini Adults! All the gifts are linked below. Tweens, ages 8-12, start really start to explore 'adult like' products and accessories. For example, both of my girls just love products from Bath & Body Works such as the hand sanitizers and the fun little holders. I just buy them a few to keep with their lunch kit and backpack in case they don't have time to go wash their hands properly in the bathroom before eating lunch (side note: our lunch hours are super rushed here and kids usually have like 10- 15 minutes to eat). I also find that they enjoy getting 'adultish' gifts such as wallets, watches, purses, etc. Generally I am a fan purchasing books for any occasion but it's nice to shake things up and get them a magazine instead. The American Girl magazines are so good for younger girls, up to 11, with many positive messages and great articles to read. This year I am excited to give Halie the Discovery Girl magazine as she is really into makeup, hair, etc, but not ready for some of the other brands out there. Discovery Girl got excellent reviews for age-appropriate content on Amazon.
In order to keep myself from going overboard I have compiled a minimalist Easter list to keep in mind while shopping.
What do you include in your childs Easter basket? What are you Easter rituals and traditions?
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